Getting Better

Its Wednesday, had a hard time getting started this morning. Really Depressed. Really Tired. I have a ton of things to do today and have no idea how to get it done. It's a better day then last time but I feel unmotivated and fedup with everything and I need to just move on to the next phase of my depression which is usually a huge upswing of energy and I run around like a maniac getting everything done and working for 24 hours straight. I like that part of being bipolar. It works for me. I hate this part, wish I could sleep for a week and wake up when its over. Hugs to all going through the same things. I'm in control still most of the time, that's what counts. Tomorrow is always better. Here's to tomorrow.

Going Crazy

Ever have one of those weekends. Well I had tons planned and of course only finished half of what needed to be done. You see I'm trying to sell my house because I want to buy a new life in the country. Farm living here we come if I ever get the house clean enough to have an open house. Apparently the planets were not in line this weekend or something because, everyone, I repeat everyone was a serious crab. Every word spoken this weekend was with a little twinge of "get out of my face" to it. Well I ran away again, got into the car, with 4 bucks and a half tank of gas and thought to my self, I am never coming back. No matter what, even if I have to eat garbage. Well I called a friend and she talked me down again. If it were not for her I would of been divorced a few times already. I wonder if my husband is even a little bit grateful for her or wish she would butt out so we could hurry up and get it over with. Its Monday, I've gotten no sorry no hug no nothing. I'm supposed to just keep going and ignore the fact I'm treated like crap sometimes so that I can have that once in a blue moon romantic moment. Well I'm sick and tired of just having a "okay" life or a well I know a lot of people who have it worse attitude. Why can't I have it all, why can't I have my dreams and have something to look forward to everyday, instead of laying in bed and saying do I have to get up and do it again. Well thats all, same shit different day.

No sleep again last night

Being a mom sure is hard on the sleep habits. My little guy was up all night again. I try not to be grouchy but when the antibiotic is worse then the cold I really get mad at the doctor. What is the point of curing the ear infection if he's gonna then suffer from a tummy ache and a butt rash from the medicine. I'm tired and cranky, I yelled at my son and my husband but the real person is the doctor who caused my sleepless night. Why? Boy, I need a vacation, when is it gonna be our turn to be happy I wonder. I am so blessed with a wonderful husband and two beautiful boys. I just want to be out in the country where we have room to breath. Anyone have any ideas on how to get my loan to go through? Any one ever buy a B&B? Hugs to all who need them.

scrapping in the country

I am currently a stay at home mom, which is the hardest job I have ever had. I have been in the past a child caregiver, a clown, an accountant, a cook, a waitress, a bartender, a environmental activist, a pet sitter, an aerobic instructor, a nutritionist, an art gallery manager, a painter, a graphic designer, a copy writer, and now I teach scrapbooking to lots of women just like me. I have done a lot of fun things in my lifetime, but I find scrapping not only a great creative outlet but a fantastic way to meet some awesome people. It helps me appreciate my life in the moment and remember the past with more fondness then regret. I have been happily married for 25 years to my high school sweetheart and I am attempting to do an album of memories for just us. We are also looking to venture out to the country to open a scrapping bed & breakfast. This is our dream for the future. Us, our kids, fresh country air and memories so abundent we couldn't begin to fit them into a small book. Well thats us, our news, for now anyway.